Friday, March 21, 2008

Not so homeward bound

It's been a roller coaster around here. Last week on the way to Emily's funeral we got a call from our nursing agency- they said they had a few nurses to take care of Faith at home. We had a date; we had our hopes up. It was perfect; Faith was set to go home spring break. We were terrified but very excited. Through it all we felt an uneasiness about the whole thing (although neither one of us wanted to admit it) so we had major prayer time. We wanted it to be right, we wanted it to be God' timing. We spent last weekend cleaning our house, picking out a car seat and getting Faith's room ready again. Then we heard a voice..."no.....not yet...it's not time...just wait....." I was very mad when I heard this and I argued with God.."YES!!!! YES NOW! We can't do this any longer!!!!" The voice persisted..."Trust me....for I know the plans I have for you....." Truth is I didn't care what this voice was saying we were going to take our baby home! Then the inevitable happened- everything fell through from the nursing to the equipment to Faith getting sick and getting this weird rash all over her body. It was as if every single door was closing before our eyes. We were devastated...but also relieved...relieved that we weren't going to repeat what happened the last two times we tried to go home...relieved that it's not all up to us...but up to Him! There's an old Garth Brook's song (I know some of you are rolling your eyes..just bear with me) called Unanswered Prayers. The chorus rings.."some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers...." Sometimes we feel as if we are in purgatory....that we will never see the light of day then there are other times when we feel a soft whisper that gives us peace..."Trust me.....Have Faith....." And that, we will.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thats a perfect song and it is SO true , isnt it! Its ok..this is NOT a set back..its another step in getting her home when the time is right!
I felt your sadness and frustration as I read this...I am sorry but KNOW when its time ..you will have No reservations and no hestitation adn no voice saying.."not now"

I know you feel like you have been on the wild toads ride ( you know the one at Disney) but it has been a ride of wonderful learning expdriences, sadness, happiness and so much more! LOOK HOW FAR FAITH HAS COME!

When everything was against her..she proved EVERYONE wrong. When people thought, " well this is it "Faith showed everyone.."NO IT ISNT IT, There is SO MUCH MORE FOR ME!"

She will do it again and again and over and over and when it is time to come home..what a JOYFUL HAPPY day that will be.

She looks so darn adorbable, I cant stand it!

Well I will pray that when GOD says its time to get that sweet angel to HER home and HER room..he will! God never fails us and HE will do what the right thign is. Hang in there guys@ I know how hard this is for ya'll! She is sure lucky to have ya! =)

All our love!
Aunt susan , Uncle MIke,Steve(on Spring break ) and Michelle
XO XO XOXO

Anonymous said...

HAPPY EASTER!!! HE HAS RISEN!

WE LOVE YOU,

AUNT SUSAN, UNCLE MIKE , STEVE AND MICHELLE