Friday, July 30, 2010

Last week I had written a post I had intended to publish titled, "What we are looking forward to most..." It was not hard to come up with a very long list of what this surgery would mean to our family...and most importantly to Faith.

The number was being able to hear her laugh.

Three years ago we met a family who had a daughter who had been trached. I'll never forget when the mother told me that hearing her daughter laugh after decannulation was her number #1.

"That day will come for you Jen," she encouraged "someday you will hear Faith laugh and it will be the sweetest sound you have ever heard."

Today, we learned that that day will not be Monday, August 2nd.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. -Matthew 7:7-8

We have asked, sought, and knocked so hard our fists are sore.

And yes, we received.

We received the answer we did not want to hear.

But perhaps the answer isn't "no" just "not now."

Someday there will be a now...but it doesn't take away from the hurt that after getting so close...being able to hear our daughter's laughter remains a "someday..."


Jen & CO

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Numbers

2 - Very tired parents who just want one night of uninterrupted sleep.

1 - Night booked for two at Della Terra Mountain Chateau for Monday, July 26th.

177 - Days since Faith's last visit to the children's emergency department

2 - Overnight visits to the er in the last 36 hours, the first being on Monday, July 26th.

5 - The number of days Faith has been lethargic, not wanting to walk or even sit up.

10 - The average amount of diapers changed per hour due to this nasty, nasty stomach bug.

5 - Days until Faith undergoes major surgery to reconstruct her airway.

4-10 - The number of days the docs at childrens have seen this G.I. bug wipe kids out.

24 hours - Faith has to turn a corner before the surgery is canceled (their words, not mine).

1 year - The time we'd have to wait for the opportunity for this surgery again (it is only done in summer and the OR is booked solid for the next month).

2 - Very, very tired and sick parents who just want to catch a break.