(Faith waiting for her brother to arrive)
I never went into Labor w/Faith (she was taken via emergency c-section) but I whatever I went through today was pretty close to it! Heart palpitations and coached breathing were definitely a part of this day. After all of that I can tell you that tonight we rocked a beautiful baby boy to sleep. I legally cannot post any pictures, tell you his name, or give any personal details but I can tell you that God’s fingerprints are all over this situation. I can also tell you that although we loved him before we met him (insert cheesy Savage Garden song here) he has definitely stolen out hearts and we feel more like a family (and exhausted) than ever before.

Up in the Air

I've always been afraid to fly. I blame it all on the movie La Bomba and the crash scene that traumatized me as child. That pit-in-the-stomach-we're all-about-to-die feeling that I get before I board a plane has now become a euphemism for how I feel when faced with an anxious situation.

So when we met with social services last week and they said we were approved and could be parenting another child within the week that feeling in my stomach returned. When we "bought a ticket" into this program we knew where we were heading..but through all the packing..the long, long lines (and intrusive) security check points our destination seemed out of reach.

But as of today our plane has left the terminal and are on a tarmac. We thought we were going to lift off this week..and we were anxiously awaiting on the runway as the captain came on a said there was a minor delay and the plane (our home) is awaiting a maintenance check (a basement window well needs a cover, storage shed needs to be padlocked, etc.). While these tasks were quickly completed you know how airline time lines work and one minor delay has us stranded on the tarmac for what seems like eternity.


If there is one thing my irrational fear of flying has taught me it's to trust in serendipitous events....(missed flight or cheated death?) so when we bought REAL airline tickets a few months ago for a little getaway for THIS WEEK we had no idea that the week prior our hopes of being placed with a child would be delayed yet another week. We had these same plans last summer but they were diverted when Faith was hospitalized before her reconstrive surgery.

So last week when I grappled with the should we stay or should we go guilt, little did I know that air traffic control was really under HIS control. While part of me wished that we would get our child and then I wouldn't have to get on a plane the other part knew that the fear was not from flying but being a foster parent.

I once heard a psychologist say that it is OK to have a fear of flying as long as it doesn't prevent you from getting on the plane. While I've had too many white knuckled, tears streaming down my cheeks flights to count, I've always gotten on the plane.

Since I haven't traveled since Faith has been born I've felt exempt from my phobia the last few years. While I am still anxious about boarding a plane, I have put the fear into perspective. Turbulence has nothing on what we've been through the past four years...a little loss in cabin pressure is breeze compared to seeing your child on life support. While I the idea of traveling out of state and being away from Faith for a few days causes an almost panic attack we (w/a little help from Xanax) are still getting on the plane. And while parenting a child we know nothing about induces sweaty palms, we are still getting on that plane.

SO there you have it. If my airplane metaphor has confused you to bits the cliff note version is we will not be officaly approved to begin fostering until late next week, which will be when Brian and I return from a much needed trip. So here's to taking flight on multiple adventures!

Jen & CO

The weekend before last was picture day for Faith's dance class. She cried, screamed, tore her costume, threw her hat and wanted nothing to do with the affair. Needless to say our expectations we extremely low for her dance recital debut this past weekend.


Turns out she was holding out on us (and just waiting for an audience......)




And for the encore....



Special thanks to my AMAZING friend Kristin who has volunteered every Saturday for Faith's class (and who encouraged me to find a class like this for Faith in the first place!)


And thank you to all of the wonderful people at Dancin' Dreams for making our little dancer's (and her parents') dream of being a part of something like this come true!

What this picture proves

We are finishing our basement.

When we moved into our humble abode five years ago we were sure we would not outgrow this house before it was time to move out of what was billed a "starter home." We were not anticipating having a child 10 months after signing off on our first home, nor could we imagine that our house would not be worth what we bought it for when it was time to sell.

So far we've made do with our 3 bedroom, 1 bath, 1,300 sq. ft. home. Faith loves the window seat that overlooks the culde-sac and the spare bedroom is now a playroom filled with her train table and gazillion tiny pieces of this and that (Faith is now in the tiny pieces toy stage- you know the type of Mattel toys that come with a million little plastic pieces that all seem very important when you purchase whatever it is but only days later end up strewn about the house- and forget trying to organizing it all- the pieces are far too random to be categorized.) Needless to say her playroom has served its purpose and we haven't had need to expand- until now.

Oh no, it's not what you think. There is not a bun in the oven, or even something even remotely close to that but we are adding to our family a different way.

Before Brian and I were married we always knew we'd adopt. Two biological children, and two adopted was our plan. We even considered adopting before having biological children- but of course life has a funny way of changing your plans.

We've been thinking seriously about adoption for the past few years. We initially looked into international adoption but could not afford it. Domestic, private adoption was also pricey, and we were not sure we wanted to adopt an infant (we have a child who still does not sleep through the night, so adding another child who needs care in the night is not ideal). So we are going the route less traveled, the route that brings that reaction, "are you crazy?!" We are going through the foster-to-adopt program in our county. We are not doing this because we want to "try a child out" before adoption- believe me- WE WANT TO ADOPT. It just doesn't work that way. We have gone through eight weeks of pre-fostering/adoption classes that have ingrained the phrase, "you are fostering with the HOPE of adopting." The truth is 85% of children who enter the foster care system are reunited with their birth families. We are doing this knowing that we will foster children who will follow this path, but our hope is that we will have one who is a part of that 15% that need a forever family, and we know ours has a lot of love to give.

So there it is- the next step in this crazy journey. Of course we're crazy, of course we're getting into this over our heads- but that's just the type of people we are. Over the past few years we've learned to accept that traditional child rearing just isn't our thing. We are ready to rise to this challenge and we are ready to fill that room with someone who needs it, not plastic pieces.

We will definitely keep you updated, and I am sure I will use this blog as a catalyst to document this journey. We have done all we've needed to on our end (the training, paperwork, etc.) we are just waiting for the home study and final approval- which is sure to give Brian enough time to finish that basement.




Oh and to answer the question from the title, this picture proves it's time for a sibling (or else PETA is going to picket our house). :)

Jen & CO.

Breaking-into-Spring (the only way we know how)

I had many things to do on my spring break list, one of them being updating this blog. I had a lot to blog about for a change- Faith's new dance class, her attending school, and an exciting new chapter in our lives that is about to unfold. What I didn't want to write about is how Faith is in the hospital battling RSV. But then again, maybe if we weren't held captive (dramatic, I know) within these four familiar walls I'd find another excuse why I can't blog today.




Ok, first the not so fun part- We brought Faith in this past weekend after she couldn't keep her sats up and her oxygen requirements increased significantly. Her lungs sounded horrible and she was working to breathe- all markers pointed to RSV and sure enough it was confirmed. The good news her reconstructed airway seems to be handling this bout of illness fairly well. I have not written about it, but Faith has had a chronic gagging issue since the surgery last fall. It's hard to watch, and I'm sure even harder for her to endure. It just seems as though she cannot clear her secretions very well, and it seems very related to the reconstruction.




On a brighter note, when she's not gagging, Faith is a thriving four year old. She amazes us everyday with what she knows. Her memory and attention to detail is impeccable. Her only audible word is still, "momma" but she's signing like crazy and finds lots of other ways to communicate and "get her point across." The other day she got out a toy that she had played with when she was an infant. Without my prompting she signed, "me, baby, hospital." This was our first inclination that she remembered her first year of life spent in the hospital. A few hours later a commercial came on with a nurse holding a baby. Faith pointed to herself and once again signed, "me, baby, hospital." I asked her if she liked living in the hospital and she signed, "no, home."




In April she will begin Preschool again. For the past two months she's been attending a toddler/baby program at Anchor Center for Blind Children. We've been connected with Anchor Center since first learning about Faith's vision loss. They've done everything from hospital visits to regular monthly therapy visits in our home. We're excited to send her to their preschool program two days a week. When she's not at Anchor she will hop on the yellow bus and go to the school she went last year two days a week.




Faith recently started attending a dance class for kids with special needs. She absolutely loves it. It is by far her favorite part of the week. I am not going to be one of those mothers who only seeks out activites that serve children with special needs, but this class serves her so well. There is no need to apologize for her impulsive behavior and she is encouraged to move and free to express herself how she sees fit. In May she has her first dance recital. The kids are dressing like Jessie from Toy Story and dancing to "You've Got A Friend in Me." Too cute. (If you want to see a news story about the dance class check this out.)




Alright folks, well that's all for now. I've got another, exciting update in the works (with some big news attached). Hmm... way to leave you w/a cliff hanger, eh?


Thanks for checking in!



Jen & CO



*******3/31 Update: Faith is home! Just in time go to Disney on Ice, Princess Classics tomorrow. (Yes, you bet your bottom dollar she's going, "post"-RSV and all) Looks like this family finally caught a break!*******

Faith is 4 today!

Everything we didn't (and some we did) show you from Faith's 3rd year of life...

Merry (almost) Christmas!

What can only mark the arrival of the Christmas season in the Reming household other than the steady stream of sub-par Christmas movies w/predictable, unrealistic plots on the Lifetime network that I just can't seem to stop watching (it's like a horrible accident on the side of the road- you just can't help but take a look)and my insistent need to begin blogs w/run on sentences? Ah, yes, the awkward Santa photo. For three years running Faith freaked when she approached the man in red which resulted in another momma-being-groped session and left her father with no choice but to stand awkwardly beside it all. Holly jolly Christmas indeed (and once again a little too jolly for Mr. Kringle).


We are officially on winter break and officially enjoying the season. Faith is very much into everything this year and when asked what she wants Santa to bring her she signs, "train" and "barbie car." (Could we have asked for a more balanced toddler? I think not).


Brian's mom is in town for the week so Faith has been receiving lots of love from her Buffalo Grandma. Now if we only could get some snow I think we'd have a picture perfect Christmas.




A little update on the school situation, beginning in January Faith will be visited by a home bound special ed. teacher provided by the district for three hours a week. I think Faith is the most over serviced child in the state (which of course is a really good situation to be in.) She receives home visits from her speech therapist, occupational therapist, and physical therapist each of whom come 2 times a week (for a totally of 6 visits) and we've just started taking her to a feeding clinic at Children's on Mondays. So with her addition of the home school teacher she's maxed out on adults (now only if we could have some kid therapy in there..) After just writing that I realize that might have sounded negative but in reality we have one incredible team of professionals that surround our family.

In keeping with the randomness of this post, my goal this break is to get Faith to wear her eyeglasses (y'up, she still has glasses, you just never see them in pictures b/c she whips them off her face faster then our camera's shudder speed.) I'm on the hunt for "princess" glasses so if anyone happens to come across any let me know (and they have to have an actual princess on them- when I showed her a pair of glasses inspired by Disney princesses she called foul and refused to allow them within 6 inches of her face). We've come to an agreement that if momma can find princess glasses she will wear them (just like the other day I came home from work and she greeted me at the door by requesting a princess potty...we're still negotiating the terms in that contract).



Looks like our little girl is growing up!





Hope you all are enjoying the holidays- it all seems to be coming and going very fast this year, but I hope you are able to savor the season.





Jen & CO.