It's 2:30 am- another sleepless night. This time I find it more manageable just to stay awake. Tonight Faith needs sooooo much suctioning. Poor thing. She just looks so uncomfortable. She also is running a fever. Which for her is very, very odd. She's had maybe one fever in her entire life.
Nights have been incredibly difficult for us to manage. Faith just isn't a good sleeper. She just gets really restless. We've tried every trick in the book- we've even started to give her melatonin (her pediatrician suggest this) which did not work either. We just REALLY need a night nurse. That's our prayer these days. I don't know how much longer we can do this. After a while it just really wares on you. You know that feeling when you wake up in the middle of the night, glance at your alarm clock and it says 12 or 1 and you are so happy because that means you have 6 more hours to go...well when it's your night with Faith it's the opposite. Every hour that goes by, however sleepless it might be, is closer to daylight, closer to normalcy.
I know this comes with the territory- sleepless nights with a baby and all- but when you have a kid with a trach and on a vent it's a little different. Especially when they are sick- there are no runny noses (since air does not go through Faith's nose she doesn't get gunky up there) instead she has a trach that fills with secretions. The only thing on my mind tonight is to keep her lungs and airway clear. Well... that and the annoying sound of her peep valve on her vent....I don't know what it is but always around this time when the headache starts to set in the sound of that thing right next to my ear (it sounds like a dishwasher that badly needs to replaced...) just gets to me. Maybe that's why tonight I just needed to stay up. Tonight I'm looking online for Famer's Markets in the area I can maybe sneak away to tomorrow. Awww...that sounds nice.