Sunday, May 17, 2009

All is well

I still cannot believe that a week ago Friday it took 24 hours for Faith to open her eyes, another 72 before we saw the slight glimpse of a smile. And one week later, she is bright eyed, smiling and out of the hospital. :)

While I am relieved that her illness wasn't anything too severe, I am a little alarmed by how quickly she went downhill with this just being a cold. If she reacts this way to a cold, what will happen when she gets something else? The truth is she has had MANY colds this winter, and for some reason this one was just different and hit her another way.

While I do think that this was inevitable, I can't help but think that Faith missing some of her meds might have played a role. We are in the middle of another insurance debacle which has forced us to pay full price for Faith's prescriptions (that's right, without a copay). Most of her meds are manageable $30 here- $60 there- not a huge deal. But a few weeks ago when I went to pick up a low-dose steroid she takes to help her immune system and was asked to pay $400 for it, I declined and prayed she would be OK with out it until we get this mess straightened out . Ten days later she lands in the PICU. Like I previously said I think this strain was so severe she would have been sick regardless (after all, she's had two other PICU visits this year while on this med.) but blaming insurance companies does alleviate my mommy guilt.

On another note, this past Friday the date- May 15th- loomed over me for the entire day. I knew there was something significant about the date but for the life of me couldn't remember what it was. Was it someone's birthday? Did I forget to pay a bill or go to a doctor's appointment? That night as I set my alarm clock on my cell phone and glanced at the date once again it came to me- awww...May 15th, 2007. Faith's due date. A year ago I would have known this date was approaching- like an anniversary of a death, I would have felt great unease in the days prior.

But now, two years later, I gave it five seconds of thought...gave an out loud "Huh." Smiled, turned over and quickly fell asleep.

Such an epiphany can only be followed by such eloquent words..

"When the heart weeps for what is lost, the spirit laughs for what it has found." -Sufi Aphorism

I am so blessed to have found all of YOU. Thank you for sticking with us!

Jen & CO.


Alicia said...

So glad you guys are home and she is back to herself again. I was so worried about my little Faithers!

Whaddup with insurance not paying for meds??? That is horrible!

Also glad May 15th is starting to have less significance to you, what an awesome thing!

Have a great week!


Ann said...

I love the quote! Hope things are going well and staying calm for you.